The Joke off Thread

[famus]

ritch man and a poor man buying there wives valentines presents,ritch man says,im buying my wife a diomand ring and a bmw.that way if she dont like the ring she can take it back in her bm.poor man says im buying my wife a pair of slippers and a dildo,that way if she dont like the slippers she can go **** herself

[stes]

pmsl best one yet

[famus]

englishmen irishman and a scotsman talking bout there lives,englishmen says my som was born on st georges day so i called him george,scotsman says my son was born on st andrews day so i called him andrew,paddy jumps up and says ive heard enuff of this,wait til i get home and tell our pancake

nearly spat me drink on the screen. nice one

[famus]

Originally Posted by steve hurst

...

lets keep them in good taste[ish] paddy comes home to find his wife in crotchless panties,she says lick this.he says **** off look what its done to your knickers

[steve hurst]

A little Muslim boy is crossing the street in Dublin when out of nowhere a car speeds down the road, knocks him over and kills him.

The grieving parents ring Murphy's undertakers and ask him to prepare the body for a Muslim funeral in Palestine.

When they arrive the Murphy takes them to the chapel, takes the blanket off the body and to their amazement their dead son is wearing a Spurs shirt

The parents go absolutely ballistic with Murphy and ask him what in the name of Allah is going on.

"Tis not moi folt" says Murphy "it's you who wanted him burying in the Gaza strip!!!"

[leebwfc]

Originally Posted by steve hurst

A little Muslim boy is crossing the street in Dublin when out of nowhere a car speeds down the road, knocks him over and kills him.

The grieving parents ring Murphy's undertakers and ask him to prepare the body for a Muslim funeral in Palestine.

When they arrive the Murphy takes them to the chapel, takes the blanket off the body and to their amazement their dead son is wearing a Spurs shirt

The parents go absolutely ballistic with Murphy and ask him what in the name of Allah is going on.

"Tis not moi folt" says Murphy "it's you who wanted him burying in the Gaza strip!!!"

a strong 8

[famus]

your as twisted as me, not well

[BRAD]

Originally Posted by famus

lets keep them in good taste[ish] paddy comes home to find his wife in crotchless panties,she says lick this.he says **** off look what its done to your knickers

haha lmfao

[famus]

freezing tempretures in liverpool are causing great concern.its so cold that some scousers have been seen with there hands actually in there own pockets

[dave]

twenty scousers turn up at heavens pearly gates, St. Peter says "I'm sorry lads but we've only got room for four of you, so I'll leave you to decide who's coming in". Five minutes later St. Peter says to God "I don't believe it, they've gone", God says "what, all twenty of them?" St. Peter says "no, the f*cking gates!"

[famus]

Originally Posted by dave

twenty scousers turn up at heavens pearly gates, St. Peter says "I'm sorry lads but we've only got room for four of you, so I'll leave you to decide who's coming in". Five minutes later St. Peter says to God "I don't believe it, they've gone", God says "what, all twenty of them?" St. Peter says "no, the f*cking gates!"

Originally Posted by dave

twenty scousers turn up at heavens pearly gates, St. Peter says "I'm sorry lads but we've only got room for four of you, so I'll leave you to decide who's coming in". Five minutes later St. Peter says to God "I don't believe it, they've gone", God says "what, all twenty of them?" St. Peter says "no, the f*cking gates!"

LMAO!!

Are these jokes not scousist though??

[dave]

Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says "how dare you call me a slag, get out of my bed right now............................................... ...and take your f*ckin mates with you!"

[famus]

Originally Posted by amateurblanker

LMAO!!

Are these jokes not scousist though??

calm down calm down. dont get your shellsuit in a twist youll mess up your curly perm[scousist never]