Banks

[gazza]

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so
priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what
it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her
for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit
card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.
The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00! A family
member placed a call to Citibank:
*and

* Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
* Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."
* Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
* Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
* Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
* Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report
her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
* Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
* Bank: "Excuse me?"
* Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part
about her being dead?"
* Bank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

* Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
* Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges
still apply."
* Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
* Bank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
* Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
* Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
* Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

* Bank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what
more I can do to help."
* Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you
could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
* Bank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
* Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
* Bank: "That might help."
* Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number
69."
* Bank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" !
* Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

[Bet]

OMG

[Bet]

In March 1992 a man living in Newton near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his as yet unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April he received another and threw that one away too.

The following month the credit card company sent him a very nasty note stating they were going to cancel his card if he didn't send them $0.00 by return of post. He called them, talked to them, they said it was a computer error and told him they'd take care of it.

The following month he decided that it was about time that he tried out the troublesome credit card figuring that if there were purchases on his account it would put an end to his ridiculous predicament. However, in the first store that he produced his credit card in payment for his purchases he found that his card had been cancelled. He called the credit card company who apologized for the computer error once again and said that they would take care of it.

The next day he got a bill for $0.00 stating that payment was now overdue. Assuming that having spoken to the credit card company only the previous day the latest bill was yet another mistake he ignored it, trusting that the company would be as good as their word and sort the problem out. The next month he got a bill for $0.00 stating that he had 10 days to pay his account or the company would have to take steps to recover the debt.

Finally giving in he thought he would play the company at their own game and mailed them a check for $0.00. The computer duly processed his account and returned a statement to the effect that he now owed the credit card company nothing at all. A week later, the man's bank called him asking him what he was doing writing a check for $0.00. After a lengthy explanation the bank replied that the $0.00 check had caused their check processing software to fail. The bank could not now process ANY checks from ANY of their customers that day because the check for $0.00 was causing the computer to crash.

The following month the man received a letter from the credit card company claiming that his check had bounced and that he now owed them $0.00 and unless he sent a check by return of post they would be taking steps to recover the debt.

The man, who had been considering buying his wife a computer for her birthday, bought her a typewriter instead.